When the Lord Gives You Something to Cry About

“If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about!” If you were a kid in the 1960s or 1970’s, you have probably heard this saying before. It’s what parents said to kids who were crying when they had all their basic needs met. They weren’t sick or hurt. They just weren’t getting what they wanted at the time. I have thought about that saying more than once recently. See, the Lord has been doing a new thing in my life, and it has had me tearful and, well, whiny more than a few times. I thought about how gracious God always is to convict us with His gentle touch instead of smiting us with the lightning bolts we probably deserve. And then this week the Lord really did give me something to cry about.

For most of my life, I have been a foodie with a sweet tooth. Are we celebrating? Let’s get cake. Had a bad day? How about a donut or some cheesecake? Desserts were my go-to, and I had even gotten into the habit of having a little sweet after each meal. It was something I especially looked forward to with coffee at the end of a hard day. 

The Lord’s New Thing

Then last year, the Lord started dealing with me about giving up sugar. He didn’t want me having sugar-free desserts either, so I was down to coffee with sweetener as my “treat” in the evenings.  Slowly but surely, I got used to it. Others around me celebrated birthdays and showers with cakes and cupcakes, but at least I could have a nice, sweet cup of coffee to join in the celebration. That is until about two weeks ago.

Suddenly, I started feeling convicted over my coffee with sweetener. It was coupled with that “insistence” that only comes from God. He wanted something from me. Even more than that, it seemed that everywhere I turned online, there were messages about giving God what He wants when He wants it. One sister in Christ posted, “If there is something upon which God has put His hand of pressure, obey Him in the matter. Be faithful to the moment.” Another Sister posted, “What is the Lord God telling you to do? Are you being obedient even if it seems impossible? Watch how He opens doors that were previously locked, the moment you step out in faith!” 

An Unsuccessful Pivot

I don’t believe in coincidence. I knew that what the Lord wanted was for me to stop having sweeteners. No more diet soda, no more sugar-free Hazelnut creamer, and no more sugar-free gourmet coffee from shops. He also wanted me to give up some of the “on the edge of sweet” things I had previously been enjoying like blueberry English muffins and cinnamon toast. I knew what I had to do, so I threw out everything remotely sweet or sweetened from the top to the bottom of my pantry. Still, for about a week, I moped, cried, and whined. “Whyyyyyy?” I asked Him. Why was it important to Him that I give up even this little thing? Was I down to water and black coffee? Surely not. 

So, I let my fingers do the walking on Amazon and Etsy. I ordered gourmet teas, and something called “coffee dust” in an effort to find something tasty to drink. After a while, I did come across a suggestion to mix coffee with heavy cream and vanilla. That coupled with a little spoonful of coco-calm “coffee dust” (a spice mix of coco and lavender) made my evening coffee enjoyable again. It wasn’t sweet, but it was creamy and flavorful. There was the “Ahhh” I was looking for.

I’ll bet you can guess what happened next. Suddenly, that evening no-sugar coffee was a no-no too. The conviction was so strong that I couldn’t even swallow it. It occurred to me that what He really wanted me to give up was the “Ahhh” itself. Think about that one thing in your that you look forward to. That little treat that gives you that sense of comfort and brightens up your day. The thing that makes you go “Ahhh.” That’s what He wanted me to forgo. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t like it, but what could I do? If you have ever been at that crossroad, you know that when God wants something, He gets it – or you don’t get peace. I surrendered.

Stripping Away the Layers

That first night, I had a lovely dinner, filling my belly to the brim, and then when it came time for the customary coffee…nothing. The feeling that followed was almost unbearable. If I had to describe it, it was as if something inside me was keening like an injured animal. Hmm. That’s not normal.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that the problem was beyond the natural. It was spiritual. It was like the Lord had peeled back layer after layer until the problem could be hidden no more. Ephesians 4:27 says not to give place to the devil. Sin opens the doors for the enemy to come in and have his way. I repented for gluttony and idolatry and came out of agreement with those spirits. I asked the Lord to help me never to do it again and to close any doors to the enemy that I had opened with my sin. 

The next night after dinner was vastly different. It was a sad missing instead of an intense and painful longing. Of course, the enemy didn’t like losing his foothold. He started badgering me about my “loss of freedom.” The next day was particularly intense, and I was already fussing to the Lord as I headed into my prayer closet.

A Big Surprise

“Lord, it would sure help if I knew WHY this was happening to me. I mean, I know that You know everything. You make the decisions for us that we would make if we knew all the details. I know you love me and have good plans for me. But why does this have to be so hard?” I whined before I even fully entered my place of prayer. Then I stepped over the threshold and closed the door. “I feel like a soldier who…” Wait a minute. What did I just say? 1 Timothy 2:3 popped into my mind, “Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.” A soldier? I flashed back to earlier that week.

A sister in Christ posted online about her feeling from God that things were about to get intense. She said that she and many others that she had talked to have a “sense” that we were in a calm before a storm. It was like the Lord was calling all His soldiers in for active duty, and she said that we do not want to be left out of the roll call. At the time, I had the thought that I didn’t necessarily feel anything like that, but I acknowledged that I was dealing with a lot at the time, so I might have missed it. I prayed earnestly that if the Lord had something going, I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to be one of the Lord’s soldiers that He could use in these last days.

Something to Cry About

Then it hit me. Not only was the Lord gracious enough to give me an immediate answer to the “why” (that He surely is under no obligation to provide), but He also answered my prayer from earlier in the week. He was letting me know that I am one of His soldiers. And just like their earthly counterparts, spiritual soldiers also go through a ton of training to be effective. While boot camp is basic for everybody, after that, it’s all different. Pilots don’t go through the same training as snipers. Engineers don’t go through the same training as medics. Everything is specialized for the positions the soldiers will hold.

Suddenly, I was really crying. After all my moping, whining, and fussing, the Lord was so good to me. He answered my question and assured me of my position all at once. I just cried and praised the Lord. He is such a loving, merciful God. Even when we don’t understand His plans and purposes, He never fails to let us know that He is with us and for us. I absolutely marveled at His great goodness.

Submit to God and Resist the Devil

It has been a few days since then, and I wish I could report that everything is totally fine now. Unfortunately, it’s still really hard. The devil fights me daily, but I just try to remember all of the great and glorious blessings the Lord has bestowed upon me and focus on living for Christ. Certainly, I praise God that when He gave me something to cry about, He gave me happy tears.

Interested in more articles about testimonies? Check out The Hand of God is on His Children or When You Aren’t Enough, Jehovah Jireh Is.  Please sign up to receive my blog in your email at the top right or the bottom on your phone. Also, check out my YouTube Channel where I read the blogs out loud. I also have a playlist of hymns from my church.